Sabotage- when friends and family are not supporting your journey to better health.

Are you trying to lose weight? Are you trying to exercise more? Make better food choices?

Do you get supported by your loved ones? Those who are closest to you? Your friends and family, your work colleagues?

These days I am so lucky my partner Paul is so supportive of my healthy lifestyle choices, every Sunday we batch cook roasted vegetables, bake crispy kale and garlic, roast a large chicken, and make a large, chopped salsa, I use all of these prepared foods as my meals during the busy working week.

My life is in a good place now and my friends and family are so supportive but that has not always been the case….

I am a food addict and am addicted to sweet foods, anything that was sugary, cakes, sweets, chocolate, I used these foods in huge binges to numb any painful emotions instead of letting them rise up and dealing with them.

I would eat so much my stomach would bloat and I would get extremely fast heart palpitations and cold sweats due to the amount of sugar I was consuming. I would eat myself into exhaustion. Then would come the crippling shame, I would loathe myself, hide myself away and refuse social invitations.

I was killing myself, my joints ached, and it was arduous work moving my heavy, bloated body and at nearly 22 stones I knew I needed to make lifestyle changes, or I would not make it to 40 years of age.

I first started with slight changes, daily walking, then slowly one by one eliminating processed foods. My energy increased, the aches lessened, and my body became lighter and easier to move. I was pleased and when I socialised by having meals out, I would drive and choose not to drink alcohol and make healthier food choices.

I had “friends” make comments to me, calling me “boring” for driving saying I was no fun anymore. Telling me I should “relax” “let my hair down”. I smiled and laughed it off but inside it hurt my feelings as it confused me and made me question myself. I could not work out why they would not want me to improve my health.

At birthdays and Christmas, friends bought me several large boxes of chocolate, large bars of chocolate and bottles of prosecco. I just could not understand why? When I had made it clear to everyone that it was my intention to lose weight and become healthier.

I remember talking it through with my therapist at the time, we discussed the term “transference” and how my change in behaviours of reducing comfort eating and gaining back control of my binge eating could be triggering to someone else carrying out similar behaviours and making them feel insecure about their own eating habits and therefore lashing out at me with hurtful comments. They say you are the sum of the 5 people who you are closest to in life, and I was changing but they were not.

Either way it was not helpful to me as my hurt emotions were causing me overwhelming food cravings, so it was time for me to move on with my life and leave behind those who were not supporting my journey to improved health and wellness.

Many friends and personal relationships have naturally ended, and I wish them all the best with their lives, as for me I am the healthiest, strongest, fittest, and most importantly the happiest I have ever been, and I am 53 years old next month!

How about you? Any of my story sound familiar to you?

Are the people in your life supporting your lifestyle choices? Or do they put pressure on you to “go on have a drink”, “go on treat yourself, “or “stop being boring” when you go out socially?